Kate Stella Sheldon

KATE STELLA SHELDON Copenhagen, NY
Stella Sheldon was 98 years, 11 months, and 25 days old when she joined her beloved siblings, children, and husband in the afterlife. She was 5 days shy of her 99th birthday - a hallmark she made clear she had no interest in achieving every time her granddaughters brought up her imminent 100th birthday. By her own estimation, Stella had seen and done everything a person could want to do in a lifetime, and she was ready to see what came next without neuropathy, fractured spines, hearing aids, and shingles pain.
Born to Russian and Polish immigrants, Stella fell victim to the same naming difficulties her parents had upon arriving in America. Rose (Rosalia? Rosa?) Nowakowski (or is it Nyakowska? or maybe Nowack?) Kaban and Gregor (Gregori? Grigori?) Rubick had intended for their firstborn to be named Stella Kate Rubick, but someone in a position of authority flipped the names and Stella spent her whole life knowing if a friend was calling based on whether they asked for Kate or the name she preferred to be known by - Stella. She was born in Worth, NY in the same year as The Walt Disney Corporation, Time Magazine, and Bob Barker - 1923.
Prior to her arrival, her father had two children, Margaret Rubick Volpe and Joseph S. Rubick, with his first wife Helen Bessekosky (Bissekossky). Her mother had 3 children from her previous marriage as well: George Kaban, Mayme Kaban, and Michael Kaban. Stella was followed by three more siblings, Jennie Rubick Dine, Frank Rubik, and Edward "Andy" Rubick, creating the foundations for a family she loved until her final hour.
Stella was shaped from an early age by the harsh realities of the north country. She would walk (or ski!) 3 miles round trip to attend the music lessons she paid for herself, and that was after attending the school she had to convince her family, doctors, and teachers it was worth letting her attend. When her family wasn't digging out from under the snow, they were plowing the earth on the family farm that kept them fed even during the height of the great depression - which they almost didn't notice was happening, Copenhagen was so far removed from the tribulations so many in the nation faced. Stella graduated from Adams High School in 1941, where she worked part-time in the cafeteria making sandwiches and serving lunch instead of continuing to labor on the family farm.
Coming of age during World War II, Stella was a beauty in her youth and had several besotted suitors before, at the age of 18, on April 17, 1942, she married an Army airman, Donald Lee O'Connor, and quickly started the loving family that mourns her loss now. Stella and Don had 7 children, Melody (1943), Charles (1944), Gerald "Jerry" (1946), John (1947), Donald & Kathy (twins, 1956), and Douglas "Dougie" (1963). Stella and Don's marriage ended in divorce in 1975, but she still found many joys in the time they were together. First, and foremost, their union resulted in her beloved children. Second to that, she found herself living in a variety of places across America, like NYC, Florida, and of course the Copenhagen farmhouse. She also found her lifelong vocation, earning her Licensed Practical Nursing degree on September 8, 1966.
Life introduced an unexpected surprise for Stella when she met and fell in love with her future husband, Lyman Amos Sheldon. They were married on October 28, 1978, after which Stella joined Lyman in rehabilitating his family dairy farm - a source of great delight for her growing collection of grandchildren. While their time together lasted a mere 9 years, it brought her many joyful experiences, like a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Hawaii, and her 4 step-children: James Sheldon (1939), Joanne Sheldon (1944), Julie Sheldon Salatti (1950), and Joyce Sheldon Peebles (1951). Lyman's passing in 1987 was a loss felt throughout the family, for Stella most of all.
When she wasn't helping on the farm, assisting her patients in their journey, or babysitting one of her 15 grandchildren, Stella could be found at the bowling alley (sometimes with her sister Jennie), in the garden, or volunteering for one of her local communities. After Lyman's passing, Stella returned to her home on Washington St. in Copenhagen, NY where she remained for the rest of her life. She was a kind and engaged neighbor, working as a night nurse caring for special needs children as well as her friend Claude McNeil after the passing of his wife Stephica. Stella was a volunteer at her local church, the Senior Citizens of Copenhagen, Meals on Wheels, Mercy Hospital, the local blood drive, and even a language exchange program in Poland. She was honored to receive the "Outstanding Senior Citizen" award in 2002 for her volunteer and advocacy work. She was a skilled seamstress - something she learned from her mother - as well as a gardener, cook, canner, card shark, and crossword puzzle solver. Stella traveled far and wide, from Maine to Alaska, Hawaii to Thailand, Turkey to Poland, and beyond. Her daughters Melody and Kathy have many great memories to share of their time abroad with their mother as she explored a world that had seemed impossible to visit in her youth. The only place any of her family can remember hearing her say she wished she still could have visited was Machu Picchu in Peru, an idea that occurred to her after a successful knee surgery gave her a new lease on an adventure in her 80s.
Stella was self-sufficient until the very end, recovering from multiple spinal fractures to return home to continue her reading, cooking, and volunteer work. As recently as the summer of 2022 Stella was released from the hospital after recovering from both a fall and Covid-19. In November 2022 it was concluded it would not be possible to help heal her most recent spinal fracture with medical intervention, and the decision was made to allow her to return to her home under the dedicated care of her family, friends, and the Lewis County Hospice team. Her final months and days were filled with the love and care she herself had brought to so many. Not least among her caretakers were her son, Donald O'Connor; her daughter Melody O'Connor; her daughter-in-law Sally Wisner O'Connor; her nephew Gergor Volpe; her neighbors Bill and Judy St. Louis, and her personal care aide Crystal Pate.
Stella deteriorated quickly once she made the decision to pass at home, holding on just long enough to enjoy one last day with her farthest flung child, Kathy, who managed to make it to Copenhagen despite flying in during a once-in-a-decade snowstorm for the region. Her last words were spoken to her brother Frank, and her last breaths were exhaled as she was whisked off in truly dramatic fashion on a thunder and lightning snowstorm, something she possibly learned from her daughter Melody's passing during a summer storm the year prior. She felt no fear in passing, but instead looked forward to the new music she would hear, the new things she would learn, and the new adventures she would have in the great beyond.
Stella is predeceased and survived by a complicated and loving menagerie of family. For future genealogists and historians, we will try our best to make it helpful for you by grouping family members.
Stella was predeceased by her parents Gregor Rubick (1885-1963) and Rose Nowakowski Kaban Rubick (1891-1967); her brother Frank Rubik (1928-2014) and his wife Shirley Griffin Rubik (1934-2021); her sister Jennie Rubick Dine (1925-2021); her half-sister Margaret Rubick Volpe (1913-1981) and her husband Raymond Volpe; her half brother Joseph Rubick (1916-unknown) and his wife Marion Prithard Rubick; her half brother Michael Kaban (1911-1988) and his wife Camella Kaban (1913-1956); her half brother George Kaban (1912-1927); and her half-sister Mayme Kaban (1915-1936). They are survived by her brother Edward "Andy" Rubick (1929) and predeceased by his wife Nellie McEwen Rubick (1930-2009), of Colorado Springs, CO.
Stella was predeceased by her first husband Donald L. O'Connor (1917-1984) and their children Douglas O'Connor (1963-1965), Charles O'Connor (1944-1994), and Melody O'Connor (1943-2021). She is also predeceased by her husband Lyman Amos Sheldon (1916 - 1987), and daughter-in-law Gail (John) O'Connor. Their surviving descendants are listed by which child they came from. Melody O'Connor (predeceased): From her marriage to Edwin Jacunski, son Eric Jacunski, his wife Marne Saunders, and their children Ethan and Garrett Jacunski all of Newton, MA; daughter Gwen Nelson, her husband John "Jack" Nelson, and their children Lauren and Brad Nelson all of Roslindale, MA. Charles O'Connor (predeceased): Wife Sally Wisner O'Connor and her post-widowing partner Claude Burker; Sally and Charles' children, daughter Lisa O'Connor Beyor, her husband Jim Beyor, and their daughters Megan and Madison Beyor; son David O'Connor and his daughter Keely O'Connor with Kellie Hodkinson Ames, all of Carthage, NY Gerald "Jerry" O'Connor (Savona, NY): Children from his first marriage to Sally Reed, son Tom O'Connor, his wife Diane O'Connor, and their sons Brennan and Aiden O'Connor all of Rochester, NY; son James "Jim" O'Connor, his wife Jennifer O'Connor, and their children Logan, Noah, and Keegan O'Connor. From Jerry's second marriage to his wife Mary Hakes O'Connor, son Michael O'Connor, his wife Rachel O'Connor, and their children Alexandra "Lexie", Allison, and Braden O'Connor of Rochester, NY; son Joseph O'Connor, his wife Amber O'Connor, and their children Liam, Patryck, Brenik, and Kian O'Connor of Roanoke VA; and son JJ O'Connor, his wife Janessa O'Connor, and their children Hayden, MiKayla, Kenzington, and Everliegh of town? Kansas.
John O'Connor (Hemlock, NY): One daughter from his first marriage to Linda Grosfelt, daughter Valerie O'Connor. He is also predeceased by his wife of 40 years Gail Unamann O'Connor and her son Raymond Paul Jr and is survived alongside Gail's daughter Ann Marie Buono.
Kathy O'Connor Janssen (Libby, Montana): Husband Rick Janssen; son Jeremy Janssen, his wife Kristen Janssen, and their children Sam, Caroline, and Sloane Janssen of Omaha, NE; son Joshua Janssen, wife Kristi Janssen, and children Jameson, Harper, and Holden Janssen, of Colorado Springs, CO. Donald O'Connor (Watertown, NY): Children from his marriage to Laurie Davidson Donohue, son Benjamyn O'Connor of Woonsocket, RI, and his child by Jolene St.Louis Welk, Alyssa "Taka" Welk of TN, predeceased by his wife Kendra Jo Kiblin O'Connor; Aubri O'Connor of Washington, DC; Jennafir O'Connor Enck and her husband Jarrett Enck of Stoneham, MA.
Stella was predeceased by her second husband Lyman A. Sheldon (1916-1987) and her step-children by that marriage: James "Jim" Sheldon (1939-2003) and Joanne Sheldon (1944-2018). They are survived in order from oldest to the youngest child: Jim Sheldon (predeceased): Widow of Jim, Marlene Sheldon (1941) of Copenhagen, NY, and their children Michael and Tina Sheldon. Joanne Sheldon (predeceased) Julie Sheldon Salatti (1950) of Oswego, NY. Joyce Sheldon Peebles (1951) of Harrisville, NY
Stella is survived by her loving nephew Gregor Volpe (1944), son of Margaret and Ray, who has worked to provide a space for the vast family members to come together and has offered priceless companionship over the years.
All told Stella had 7 children, 15 grandchildren, at least 30 great-grandchildren, and innumerable beloved nieces, nephews, cousins, and step-family.
Stella was cremated at the Lundy Funeral Home in Carthage, NY on Tuesday, November 22, 2022. A celebration of her life will be held in the Summer of 2023 at a location and time yet to be decided. Those who would like to share their condolences or assist in/attend the celebration may reach out to Aubri O'Connor at aubrilee@gmail.com or Jennafir Enck at jennafirenck@gmail.com. A portion of her ashes will be interred at the grave she will share with her daughter Melody O'Connor in Copenhagen, NY. The remainders will be shared with family and spread both near and far as was her final wish.
If you would like to honor the memory of Stella, then please plant and care for something that will grow, or support a charity that cares for those in need in our world. Stella was especially fond of the local schools, fire departments, the River Of Life church in Copenhagen, and organizations supporting veterans and minorities.